Many times, I call up my best friends and tell them, “I screwed up!”. Not many times, but almost every time. Then I break into the full detail of what happened and what I did and what I should have done, all the more drowning into the guilt of doing the things I did and what I should have actually done. My best friends, bless their souls, are these amazing creatures who never judge me or leave me, even if they warned me about the possibility of that particular outcome. They listen to the whole story, scold me a lot, try to reason out with me and then say “Don’t you worry! Everything will be alright.”
Sometimes, I wonder why they are so nice and tolerant towards me? Why, even if the mistake is similar to committing a murder, they never abandon me. Either they are exceptionally good at handling the ruined beans of my life or they have accepted the fact that nothing in my life can ever go according to the plan.
Or maybe, just maybe, they know and understand that i am not being a trouble maker, I am just a human. Humans tend to make absurd mistakes all the time. They screw up, they hurt other people, sometimes consciously and sometimes, unconsciously. In just 21 years of my life I have made such big mistakes that I never thought i will make it this far. There were times when I couldn’t take it, when i just wanted to run away, far from all the negatives, but somehow I made it till here and now I know that no matter how big of a mistake it is, except breaking a law, I will survive.
It’s not about survival of the fittest, its about how strong you are when the whole world is coming down. It’s about being strong when you have got your back against the wall. Its about holding on and having the hope. And having friends who look past all your ‘human stuff’ and see the person you are underneath, just make the whole process of letting go and moving on easier, if not quicker.
You make mistakes. You screw up, big time. You are only human. Sometimes, the right and the wrong things are so interconnected that it is difficult for you to make a choice. Sometimes, your actions can save a life, while destroying your own. And sometimes, you lose to your heart when its battling with your brain. Sometimes, you take a step in a haste and realize it only later that you missed the opportunity of achieving the thing you wanted the most.
But what I have learned, after all these years, is that, if the mistakes are a result of your, well, extra possessive nature and not because you wanted to hurt someone deliberately, if these wrongs you committed are because you were so stucked in a situation that you couldn’t do the right thing, then it will be okay in the end. Time will make it bearable. These mistakes are like scars and wounds, either they will fade away or they will heal. But they will stop hurting you eventually.
I have heard it many times that life is about making mistakes. Not because we learn a lesson from them, but because they teach us to be strong and to go on, no matter what. Because everything in our lives happen for a reason, especially the bad ones.